Who doesn’t love a little holiday humor? Share these hilarious 4th of July jokes for kids with the youngsters in your life as a fun way to teach them some U.S. history. As an added bonus, they’ll be the hit of their family Independence Day barbecue!
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Our Favorite 4th of July Jokes
1. What did the ghost say on the 4th of July?
Red, white, and boo!
2. What did the tourists say when they left the Statue of Liberty?
Keep in torch!
3. What’s red, white, black, and blue?
Uncle Sam after a boxing match.
4. Who has to work on the 4th of July?
Fireworks.
5. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts.
6. What do ducks love about the 4th of July?
Fire quackers.
7. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
8. What did the firecracker eat at the movies?
Pop-corn.
9. Why couldn’t George Washington fall asleep?
Because he couldn’t lie.
10. What was the most popular dance in 1776?
The indepen-dance.
11. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand for freedom?
Because she can’t sit.
12. Where is the capital in Washington, D.C.?
At the beginning.
13. What did the flag do when it lost its voice?
It just waved.
14. What beverage do you drink on July 4th?
Liber-tea.
15. What is the best sport to play on July 4th?
Flag football.
16. Why is there no knock-knock joke about America?
Because freedom rings.
17. What do dads like to eat on the 4th of July?
Pop-sicles.
18. Which flag is the most highly rated?
The American flag. It has 50 stars.
19. Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?
Bone Franklin.
20. What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting.
21. What do you eat on July 5th?
Independence Day–old pizza.
22. How did the Boston colonists’ dogs protest against England?
The Boston Flea Party.
23. Which colonists told the most jokes?
Pun-sylvanians.
24. What’s red, white, blue, and green?
A patriotic turtle.
25. What do you get if you cross a stegosaurus with a firework?
Dino-myte.
26. What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
You stole my thunder!
27. Why should you research fireworks before purchasing them?
To get the most bang for your buck.
28. What do you call a really good drawing by an American child?
A Yankee doodle dandy.
29. Why were the first Americans like ants?
They lived in colonies.
30. What did Luke Skywalker say on the 4th of July?
May the Fourth be with you!
31. What do you get when you cross a patriot with a curly-haired dog?
A Yankee poodle.
32. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
33. What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?
Hi, Pop!
34. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up.
35. What do you get when you cross Captain America with the Incredible Hulk?
The Star-Spangled Banner.
36. Which is the smartest state in America?
Alabama. It has four A’s and one B.
37. What happens if something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore?
I don’t know, but it will be a monumental disaster.
38. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
The Americans licked the British.
39. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?
The infantree.
40. What was the wildest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
41. What’s red, white, blue, and green?
Uncle Sam holding a watermelon.
42. What are the most patriotic flowers?
Yankee doodle dandylions.
43. What do you serve with cheese on Independence Day?
Fire crackers.
44. Why did the hot dog go to the 4th of July party?
Because it heard it was buns of fun.
45. What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?
Fire Cracker Jacks.
46. Why did the corn on the cob go to the 4th of July parade?
Because it heard there would be a-maize-ing floats!
47. Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?
It needed to trim its bangs.
48. What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?
One has his face on a bill, the other has a bill on his face.
49. What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker?
“My pop’s bigger than yours!”
50. Why did the firework become a teacher?
Because it wanted to “spark” curiosity in students.
51. Which bakery should you purchase desserts from for the 4th of July?
The most pastry-otic one.
52. What was the patriotic snake’s favorite subject in school?
American hissss-tory.
53. What is red, white, blue, and green?
A seasick Uncle Sam.
54. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?
“Get in the boat, men!”
55. What do the American flag and a sad candy cane have in common?
They’re both red, white, and blue.
56. What did the American flag say to the pole?
I’m just hanging out.
57. What’s another name for a patriotic cow?
An A-mooo-rican.
58. Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Yes. It’s the day after the 3rd of July.
59. Why was the American flag the life of the party?
It was always ready to raise spirits.
60. Why does fire dislike the 4th of July?
Fire works on the 4th of July.
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